Is Kissing a Guy on the First Date a Good Idea?

Is kissing a guy on the first date ever a good idea? Do you have trouble deciding whether to play it safe? Do you wonder what guys really want on a first date? Being in a new situation with a guy can be a stressful experience. And a first date can be as orchestrated an experience as the Boston Pops! There are so many rules and guidelines to remember: Did you use the right fork for your salad? Should you offer to help pick up the tab? Are you over- or under-dressed? And most importantly, how should you end the date – with a kiss or a smile? Before you decide whether kissing a guy is a good idea, here are some questions to ask yourself:

How well do you know this guy?

Just because you are on your first date with someone, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s the first time you’ve met. Except for blind dates, most of us already have at least some experience being around a guy before we go out on a date with him. The more you know someone, the better your comfort level. If you are out on a date with someone you’ve only met recently, you may want to be a bit more cautious than if you are out with a good acquaintance. The more familiar you are with someone, the more you can predict his reaction to a goodnight kiss-and yours. Kissing a guy can either open or close a door on future dates.

What type of kiss are we talking about?

Kisses can be as chaste as a sisterly peck on the cheek or as erotic as a soulful, openmouthed slurp-fest! The type of kiss you choose will set the tone for the next date – or possibly the rest of the evening! Nothing says “I had an okay time, but please don’t call me again” more than a cheek kiss or a stiff-lipped peck on the lips. If that’s what you’re trying to silently convey, then peck away! On the other hand, kissing a guy in an eternally long, tongue-probing way may signal that you’re ready to, ahem– take the relationship to the next level. Don’t just take his lead. Your kiss is a type of body language, and it’s definitely sending him a message. Sometimes the safest course is to take the middle ground – a sweet-lipped kiss that promises a hint of – maybe-more, but leaves your makeup and clothes intact.

Do you want to kiss him?

All this talk about how and when to kiss is irrelevant if you just don’t want to kiss the guy. Maybe he bores you; maybe his breath is not too fresh. Whatever the reason, always remember that only you can make decisions about what is physically appropriate behavior for you with a guy. Don’t be pressured into kissing a guy just because you feel obligated. On the other hand, if you are genuinely attracted to a guy, feel comfortable with him, and haven’t picked up any “stalker” signals yet, then why are you even having this conversation? Grab him and pucker up!

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