My Husband Left Me But Won’t Tell Me Why: Husband Walked Out On Marriage

I recently heard from a wife who was confused about what to do and asked: “my husband left me but won’t tell me why”. She wasn’t sure of what to do because her husband has left her and to make matters worse he stopped accepting her calls, text or email the moment he left the house. Whenever she gets him on the phone or bump into him and had his attention long enough to get a conversation going, she would ask him why he left her. Anytime she asks her husband this question, he immediately changes the topic of discussion and ends the conversation, or simply walk away. It was obvious that he didn’t want to talk about it.

The wife definitely wanted some answers. She knew there were imperfections in their marriage and they had to work on their marriage, but she never thought her husband would suddenly leave. She believes that if she’s able to get him to tell her why he left, she could work on whatever is the problem with the possibility of resolving the situation and in due course save the marriage and get him to come back home.

However, she was unsure of how to achieve this when he has made it obvious that this was a subject he doesn’t want to talk about. In this article, I will tell you what I told her.

Don’t Waste Your Time And Energy In Search Of Answers You Won’t Get And Eventually Push Him Further Away: I understand why you want him to give you an answer as to why he left. I have experienced this and I know the feeling of you needing to know and needing to know now. You will often do more harm than good if you push too hard when he’s resistance to this.

In fact, often you’ll end up pushing him further away. Also, often you have just one focus, whereas you’re supposed to see the big picture. Your ultimate goal is to improve the state of your marriage so that he comes back home. I definitely understand how you feel that his reason for this is a mystery you need to uncover. However, pushing too hard will make you risk losing access to him for good and this will affect your chances of success.

My Husband Left Me But Won’t Tell Me Why: Husband Walked Out On Marriage

Move On With A Plan Even If You Don’t Know His Reason For Leaving: There are several possible reasons for him leaving. A lot of men visit my blog and comment. Most times, wives assume that their husband is seeing another woman or have fallen out of love with them. This isn’t always true. Usually, husbands tell me that they felt the marriage wasn’t working anymore and there isn’t any hope for change. 

For reasons best known to him, he believes you both have become distance, aren’t connected anymore, and the relationship is no longer beneficial to the two of you. Whenever I tell wives this, their response is often something like “well, he’s just reacting excessively. He expects everything to be perfect and that’s just not sensible. His expectations are impossible.”

You may be right, and you may have a valid point. On the other hand, you must understand that, to him at least, he’s right about his thought. These thought and perception are a reality to him. Therefore, it’s usually better to make an attempt to fix these things instead of trying to argue with him about it or attempting to make him feel guilty about his decision.

You must do all you can to avoid arguing with him because arguing the point (even when you’re right) will simply make your job harder and lower your chance of success. At the moment, you have to figure out what will pull him closer to you and what will push him away even more.  Although it’s tempting to demand an answer and then argue the point being invalid, this will simply do more harm than good to your relationship.

Be Positive, Though You Won’t Know What The Problem Is: Most times, the best thing to do is to get started rather than wasting your time trying to get an answer than you might never get. So, it’s better to proceed forward while focusing on creating positive thoughts and perceptions.

When next you have a conversation with him, tell him that you’ve had a second thought. Let him know that you wish that sooner or later his decision will be clearer to you and that your aim right now to work on the situation to make it better. Therefore, you’ll move on with grace, moreover, your goal is that the two of you are happy and have both made an effort to make the relationship work. Now, you realize you aren’t going to accomplish this by arguing. So, your effort should be on what will get you a better outcome – regardless of how the relationship eventually ends up.

Tell him you know he wants some time and space, and you’re willing to give him this while you take some time for yourself as well. You might feel you are making a mistake by doing this. But you have probably created more open access to him. He won’t have the feeling of hiding from you anymore or putting his guard up. Trust me; if this is done right, he might begin to perceive you as someone who is concerned about helping him to achieve his goals. You’ll then become his friend, which is what you really want.

Subsequently, when you progressively get access to him, always ensure he has a positive impression about you. Your ultimate goal is to prove to him that things can change, and you both can be live happily again. This is a gradual process. But you know this man more than any other person.  You know what tickles his fancy and what doesn’t. Make sure you don’t allow your frustration and fear make you reveal the fearful side of yourself because this isn’t going to get you the result you want.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don’t have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.