Recently, I received an email from a wife whose husband has left the home, and now she feels confused and betrayed by him. The husband’s reason for leaving her was that he needed time and space to think about the relationship, however, he insisted that they could still be friends.
She was heartbroken. She wanted her husband to stay with her and she wanted to save her marriage. But, she wasn’t happy being just friends with him because she felt her husband wanted to console her with that. She knew being friends with him will be difficult since she wanted to be more than just friends. However, she was confused about accepting the offer since it’s an opportunity to keep him in her life. She wondered how she’s supposed to act around him or how to make this friendship type relationship work. Husband wants a divorce but still wants to be friends: I still love my husband but he wants to be friends. She needed me to advise how on what next to do. In this article, I will tell you exactly what I told her.
Can You Still Be Friends After He Leaves You?: You may think that being friends with your husband after he leaves you is unrealistic.After all, the two of you have being in a relationship that is more than friendship and conceding to be friends will be a pretense. Also,you might not be able to withstand seeing him in another context. You most likely won’t know how to act around him or what to say.
The only way to make this work is to define the relationship without any limit so that you both know where you stand. This is easier said than done in real life than it’s on paper. You mustn’t make demands or show that you can’t cope with this so that he pulls away and completely stop contacting you. Nevertheless, you don’t want to appear weak or being taken for granted either.
Therefore, it’s imperative that you’re able to stay in touch in order to keep the relationship going instead of ending it. The reason being that, if you eventually want him to come back, you’ll have a better chance of achieving this if he still thinks positively about you. You don’t want him to completely forget about you.
Staying friends with him will make him continuously have you in his thought and in his life. However, you must keep making positive moves towards getting him to come back home. You must act in a manner you can maintain and must be true to yourself. Also, you mustn’t allow your emotions to be hurt by this friendship. This role can’t be played by everyone. Sometimes, their aim is obvious and the reason for agreeing to stay friends is apparent in their eyes.
How Remaining Friends With Him Can Bring About Something More Lasting: Like I earlier said, you need to strike a balance between being friends and what you eventually want in the long term. Although it may feel differently at the moment, it’s good to have access and a fairly captive audience. I talk to several women whose husbands won’t even answer their calls or receive their letters once he has left. It may feel like things can never get so bad between you two, but trust me when I say the inevitable can happen.
And honestly, this time apart will be beneficial to you as well. Most likely, his eyes are on you during this time. There’s a probability that he’s watching you and an open ear to know what you’re doing. Prove to him that you are coping without him rather than appearing needy and unattractive. This is definitely the time to accomplish those things you put on hold because of him.
For the sake of both of you, you want to appear happy, positive and upbeat. This will make you desirable and naturally draw him to you. During this time that you remain friends with him, it’s easy to get physically intimate with him, but you must resist this. You should turn him down sometimes when he wants to get together. Let him know that you are both taking advantage of your freedom. The advantage of being apart is that you are able to grant access to what you want him to see.
The fact that you aren’t together anymore gives you control over the image you present about yourself. You should have little focus on this relationship and where it’s headed. I know this is easier said than done, but placing all you focus on this relationship will be obvious to your husband and this will make him drift away from you. Rather, you should focus on yourself and your own wants and needs. Yes, you are going to accept being friends with him but you mustn’t allow yourself to be taken for granted.
It’s advisable to make an effort to keep up a positive relationship with your spouse. And while living separately, you are often more flexible and you two can have a great time without being together 24 / 7. If you do this right, there will be short term improvement in your relationship.
So, my advice is that the wife should accept being friends, but mustn’t be available every time the husband wants to get together. He’s definitely watching you, so you must appear as someone who is happy with her life, and likely to attract someone else if he delays coming back home.
*** Remember, you can save your marriage, even if it feels like you’re the only one trying. And if you want more tips on how to reignite the passion in your marriage, check out the expert advice at Save My Marriage Today
You don’t have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.