This question “my husband wants a divorce but still sleeps with me?” is a frequently asked question by many wives. When there are conflicts in marriage and couples are considering divorce, there is usually intense emotion and doubts begin to creep in. Despite the fact that a couple is experiencing crises, there is usually still love, attraction and affection between them. One can understand this, however, it can be difficult and confusing for coupes still having sex while planning to divorce.
In most situation, one person (in this case the husband) wants to divorce while the wife wants to resolve the issues in the marriage. So, still having sex with someone when you actually want to split up can send mixed signals. On one hand, the husband is letting the wife know that he wants out of the marriage. On the other hand, he’s telling the wife something else by sleeping with her – that he’s attracted to and wants to be intimate with her. In this article, you’ll learn exactly what to think and do when your husband is getting a divorce but still sleeping together.
Things To Consider Or Do When Divorcing And He Still Wants To Have Sex: The first thing to do is to define your feelings about this divorce. If you still have feelings for your husband and deep down you aren’t willing to let go of your marriage, it may seem that being intimate with him is a way to keep him from leaving you. This is certainly understandable. No doubt, it’s a good sign that he’s still attracted to you and desires you. But, these mixed-signal taking place is unfair to both of you. If he’s serious about getting a divorce, then it’s unfair for him to play with your emotions.
Ask him if his wanting to have sex with you is because of him being unable to let go of the relationship or if it’s likely that he still loves you. Does he think there is a possibility of the marriage been saved because if he thinks otherwise (or isn’t willing to try to save the marriage), it’s unacceptable to want you to continue having sex with him and then just walk away from your life – unless you both agree to this.
Letting Go Versus Trying To See If There Is Still Spark: The context in which the demand for sex occurred is sometimes important. Every so often, the request for sex comes in the of “just this once for the sake of old time,” as a means to ease the pain of divorce. Sometimes, it’s a way to find out if the spark is still there. Sometimes, it’s an attempt by a man to get something for free.
It’s imperative that you evaluate the circumstance and identify what is happening here. This is going to be different and it depends on the couple, the people and the situation involved. Your choice is definitely going to be how to move forward. However, you must know that in healthy relationships, there should be consent with clear intentions between two adults when it comes to intimacy. If the two of you have clearly defined the meaning of the sex and agree to it, then there is a chance of been in harmony provided that the two of you are satisfied and clear. Although, this is hardly ever the case.
Usually, as a result of the wife wanting to save the marriage, she feels compelled to allow the sex whereas the husband may have a different intention. Or the husband is skeptical about getting a divorce and he’s attempting to find out if the spark is still there. You need to talk to your husband about this, especially if you are uncomfortable with the sex or if you feel it makes you lose control of the relationship. You need to speak up if you want to gain your husband’s respect.
You need to initiate a conversation with your husband and let him know that you still love him and being intimate is something you want and you’re pleased that he’s still attracted to you. But, restate that it’s unfair to ask you this when you will divorce. Ask him if his wanting to be intimate means that he still has feelings for you and if he’s prepared to make things work in the marriage. Sometimes, the fact that your husband still wants to have sex could be a good sign because it reveals that he still finds you attractive.
However, being intimate is impossible in this situation when you know he might be divorcing you. Rather than allowing him have the power in the relationship and you feeling resentful, make use of this to initiate a conversation regarding how you both feel about working on the marriage to make it better or divorcing.
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